Let’s climb the Stelvio together!

Stelvio – THE legendary Alpine pass. Much visited, much travelled. Let’s play a mind game, ’cause car, bicycle and motorbike drivers travel together on the Queen of the Alpine roads: what might be going through their minds?

Before you read, please note: this post was translated with the help of Deepl.
If you find any errors – please have fun first and then give me a hint.

Motorcyclist 1
“Finally arrived at Prad. A quick fill-up and then we’re off. The Stelvio! 48 hairpin bends, I’m really looking forward to it. I hardly ever drive such narrow hairpin bends in the rest of the year, I hope it’ll be fine. Let’s see how it goes, I’m looking forward to the view from the top ..”

Cyclist 1
“The straight from Spondinig to Prad lies behind me. I’m warmed up, now I’m going to fill up my water bottle again .. Man, the legendary Stelvio, 2,000 metres of altitude, hopefully the weather won’t change .. Pulse under 100, that’s about to change ..”

Car driver
“Hm, the navigation system says the fastest way to Bormio is this way. It’ll fit, the sat nav must know ..”

Motorcyclist 1
“Let’s go. Get out of town. What’s that orange thing on the side of the road? Damn, radar! *hits the brakes hard*. That was a good one. Okay, but now .. what? Another one? Rip-off artists!! Ah, here comes the sign with the diagonay grey stripes on white at last!” *shifts down two gears and hits the throttle*

Cyclist 1
“Well, I’ll be. It doesn’t look steep at all, but it’s already hard on the thighs .. and I’m still in the middle of town. Damn it, stupid motorcyclist, why do you have to pass me so close when the road is completely clear? Hopefully the speed box is active, you’re not doing 50 km/h .. Ah, he’s noticed. Too bad ..”

Car driver
“I hate these narrow through-roads, there’s only just enough room for two cars next to each other. Why isn’t the guy braking now? Why should I stop now? *squeezes past another car at the first narrow spot*

Motorcyclist 1
“Cool, everything free in front of me! Great! *accelerates a bit more* UiUiUi, the track groove there has offset me quite a bit, they could really keep the road in better shape here ..” *drives through a combination of bends more badly than good*

Cyclist 2
“There’s a lot of water in the Suldenbach. It’s roaring, I can’t even hear the traffic coming from behind. Well, I’d better stay far to the right, here in the bend it’s best to stay on the white line, it’s not very wide here, the road ..” *Motorcyclist 1 overtakes*

Motorcyclist 1
“Did I just say free? Damn, the first cyclists are already getting in the way, right in the bend. I don’t understand why they have to cycle up here. Anyway, I’ll overtake him now, there’s plenty of room.” *rides just past the cyclist and accelerates strongly out of the bend*

Cyclist 2
“Damn, what a fright! Can’t you pass me with even less distance, you stupid motorcyclist? And how loud your exhaust is, you speedster!”

Car driver
“Quite twisty there. Is that really the fastest route to Bormio?”

Motorcyclist 1
“Turn 48 – so NOW it’s really starting. So, how was that: start on the outside, turn in late, pull inwards to avoid getting into oncoming traffic .. Oh, an oil slick! *drives past it on the right* Should I use third or second gear? *stirs in the gearbox* “Oh, it’s tighter than I thought! Luckily no one was coming towards me.”

Car driver 1
*rides behind cyclist 2* “That’s a good start, he’s holding up all the traffic. What is he doing here anyway, can’t he stay on the cycle path? .. That’s enough, I’m going to overtake him now.” *squeezes past the cyclist with a narrow margin*

Cyclist 2
*clenches fist* “You’re crazy – you can’t overtake that close! One swerve from me and I’ll get caught in your rear-view mirror! You’ve probably never heard of the 1.5 metre minimum distance for overtaking cyclists in Italy?”

Motorcyclist 2 (riding downhill)
“What the hell? You moron, can’t you stay in your lane? What are you doing? Overtaking in a bend, here??” *clenches fist towards car driver 1*

Car driver
*to the passenger* “What did this organ donor want from me? He should slow down, it’s not a race track here!”

Motorcyclist 1
“Well, the bends to the left are okay, the ones to the right are a bit trickier. But as long as no one is coming towards me .. Oh damn, the bus!!!” *brakes hard, just manages to get a foot on the ground*

Motorcyclist 3, familiar with the area, on a heavy Harley
“Ok, it’s not really my favourite time to ride up to the Stelvio, but I’m in the mood for a fresh apple strudel at the Tibet-Hut ..” *rolls past cyclists 1 and 2 on the far left with the throttle closed*

Car driver
“Construction site in the middle of Trafoi .. we’ll never get there like this. Can’t they work at night, like in Germany?”

Motorcyclist 3, the local hero
“Ha, I always have to grin because of the orgy of crashes back then in curve 44. Four motorbikes were scattered around the bend, the colleagues simply had no idea what awaited them on the Stelvio .. fortunately no one was injured.”

Motorcyclist 1
“THAT was a close call, I almost tipped my bike over. Who would expect a public bus to be driving up and down here? .. *looks in the rear view mirror* Three headlights? Must be a Harley. What’s doing HE here on the Stelvio, he can’t even get around the bends with that heavy pig ..”

Cyclist 2
“Finally someone who overtakes at a distance, so there are also sensible motorcyclists, even here on the Stelvio. He was also loud, but at least he only accelerated again after a few metres, and not exactly at the level of my ears.”

Motorcyclist 4, a kind of “super guy”
“I can easily catch up with the one in front. Now with my engine tuning, the new open exhaust and the racing air filter from No Limits, no one has the slightest chance against my GSM1-1100-RR Ltd. with special paint” *overtakes cyclist 1 and 2 with an outstretched knee and squeezes past car driver 1 in the construction site*

Cyclist 2
“I’ve had enough of this. That’s the third one who thinks he has to overtake with a 10 cm gap. I’m not the fool here for everyone, the road is for everyone. Now I drive half a metre to the left of the white line, then those who want to overtake MUST slow down and watch out for oncoming traffic ..”

Cyclist 1
*runs into cyclist 2 and overtakes, with 0.5 km/h more speed* “How’s it going? Everything good? Do you often ride up the Stelvio? How long does it take you to get to the top of the pass? That’s a great bike you’re riding! How expensive?”

Motorcyclist 3, the local expert
“Oh dear, once again someone is totally overstrained, approaching the right-hand bends completely the wrong way, and has to take his foot off in almost every corner. I’ll ride ahead of him and show him the right lines.”

Motorcyclist 1
“What does THIS one want with his Harley? Is he mad, trying to overtake ME with his bucket? Can’t he keep a bit of distance?” *steps hard on the gas at the end of the hairpin bends*

Car driver
“Now look at these idiots – do they think this is a race track? One of them almost hits the other one in the rear, and the other one won’t let him pass. No wonder they always get stuck somewhere in the walls ..”

Cyclist 2
“You want to enjoy the mighty nature and peace in the mountains, and these idiots burn up the mountain as if the world would end in the evening. I’ve been listening to them for minutes now, is that really necessary? OK, I have to watch my pulse, it shouldn’t exceed 160” *slowly falls back into the cyclist climbing trance*

Motorcyclist 4, the racer
“My tyres just don’t have any grip. And so many bumps, it always knocks the handlebars out of my hands. My footrests are slippery too, and with all these stupid cyclists here, I can’t ride the bends in my style at all. But those two fuzzies in front, I can easily catch them with my hot, fast racer ..” *shifts down another gear*

Motorcyclist 3, he who knows
“This buffoon soon is getting into oncoming traffic with his driving. Almost stands still in the bends and then accelerates like a fool. Of course, being overtaken by a Harley would be the ultimate punishment. Better to stop somewhere and let him pull away before I have to administer first aid again ..”

Motorcyclist 1
“Ah, finally he’s gone. Well, my bike goes out of the bends like hell. What does he want with a Harley up here, they’re only good for cruising in town ..” *sends his mates a shivering selfie from the top of the pass* “.. and I wasn’t overtaken, guys!”

Motorcyclist 4, still convinced of himself
“Ha, it was obvious that the Harley-Fuzzy with his poser bike would give up. He wouldn’t even stand a chance against my mega-bike ..” *fails a gear change in the middle of a bend and falls hard to the left, comes to a halt downhill, petrol runs out*

Car driver
*to the passenger* “Didn’t I tell you? They can’t drive but think they’re on a race track. Serves him right, this lunatic. Now I’m standing here again, just because the lunatic can’t drive!” *stays in the car, angry*

Motorcyclist 3, experienced
*runs to the so-called racing bike, which is still leaking petrol, and wordlessly helps to lift it up*

Motorcyclist 4, who has learned something new
*looks for excuses in front of the grinning Harley rider* “It must have been a mistake in the engine management, there was sand in the bend, a marmot ran across the road, the sun also blinded me, the air pressure in the tyres was far too high, a stone was on the ideal line, the automatic gearshift didn’t work, 2,000 euros in damage, damned Stelvio, the stupidest road ever, I’ll never go up there again ..”

Motorcyclist 3
*sits down again on the wall in a bend, gives cyclists 1 and 2 a thumbs-up, looks at the breathtaking nature for a while and later takes his time to get an apple strudel*

Car driver
*reaches the top of the pass completely stressed out* “Look at how many of these weirdos are parked here, all the car parking spaces are taken. What a mess! And they want to charge tolls for that? Never ever! Come on, Frieda, we’ll be going back down in a minute!”

Cyclist 1 and 2
*arrive at some point exhausted but happy, under some secretly admiring glances and with slight hearing damage at the top of the Stelvio*

What do we learn from this?

Everyone enters road traffic with different thoughts, goals and plans. Everyone thinks of themselves first, the others are the others who stand in the way, who can’t do it, who mustn’t do it, who interfere, who do it wrong. The reality of the others is unknown, not of interest, not understood. No mistakes are made by the people themselves, but a lot of mistakes are made by the others. One’s own behaviour is all right, but that of others never is ..

Think about it for a moment?

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