The only constant is change – as Heraclitus already realized. I’ll venture a – not always entirely serious – mental stroll through the 2026 motorcycle season: What’s coming, what’s staying the same, and what’s changing?
Before you read, please note: this post was translated with the help of Deepl.
If you find any errors – please have fun first and then give me a hint.
The vast majority of motorcycles – including mine – are still confined to the garage, but news is emerging from the depths of the internet. For example, a patent for a screw. I’m not even going to dwell on the question of what else can be patented about a screw, since in my line of work I constantly see just how many different types of screws – in countless variations – there can be for the simple task of fastening an even simpler object.
So BMW
has patented a screw head.
Phillips screws are a thing of the past; the future belongs to the dynamic propeller. A solution that’s probably outrageously expensive, with probably outrageously little practical use, and that probably requires an outrageously expensive special tool.
Seriously, though: According to the patent specification, “the shape of the engagement recesses […] prevents the screws from being loosened or tightened using standard counter-driving mechanisms, e.g., by unauthorized persons.” That’s some awesome language. Who’s ever called their screwdriver a “counter-drive mechanism”? I’m going to start doing that from now on.
BMW’s top-selling model isn’t likely to be updated anytime soon – even if bikes like that tend to be a hit. A GS in the “Propeller Screw Head” edition would undoubtedly flood the Alpine passes. But it’s not just in the desert that the PSH rider might got lost if a part comes loose, the special BMW tool is missing, or the Temu knockoff falls apart just by looking at it.
To hide those surprised looks, a Spanish motorcycle manufacturer is now offering the perfect gadget. The manufacturer is called Stark Future – and the gadget is called “IRIS.”
We need
Sunglasses!
Sunglasses! The motorcycle world in general – and the electric enduro community in particular – has been eagerly awaiting these. 1,000 pairs are currently available for auction – and anyone who wants a pair must bid at least 255 euros. For that price, you get a 3D-printed, hollow titanium frame and plasma-treated lenses, suitable for use in temperatures ranging from -30 to +100 degrees Celsius. So they’re perfect for climbing an 8,000-meter peak and for the Finnish sauna afterward.
The Hall
of Bullshit
This kind of fits right into the “Hall of Bullshit,” rubbing shoulders with the drive shaft that needs to be replaced regularly or the maintenance-free high-performance endurance drive chain, which is supposed to last just as long as a regularly maintained standard chain – even without any care. Fine. Given the tensile forces of a typical ground-to-ground rocket with +200 PS – why would anyone want to skip maintaining the drive chain?
Well, with the time saved, you could focus on securing things with propeller screws. I’m sure they’ll be popular again in 2026: all-around cameras mounted on meter-long poles. I admit, I’ve taken a spherical camera for a spin myself. It always filmed with a wonderfully shaky, mostly out-of-focus image – but with an immense file size.
Spacious and, hopefully, well-secured
Fortunately, it was so complicated to use that I rarely used it.
Stuff
on motorcycles
Speaking of “stuff on motorcycles.” I think I’m noticing a trend toward over-accessorizing. Whereas it used to be only extreme travelers who bolted their entire household to their motorcycles, now even ice cream shop explorers are doing the same. For years, highly paid designers have been going to great lengths to make touring motorcycles as ugly as possible – only to realize that customers can do it even better.
Just as stacked top cases, a floodlight, or crash bars padded with soft bags are to the adventure rider, so are winglets to the racer. After all, MotoGP teaches us: Without downforce on the front wheel, you can’t win a thing.
I’d bet that even in 2026, the vast majority of motorcycles won’t be racing in MotoGP, but will still be clunking along on country roads. I’m already looking forward to the joke “Chicken Wings” when I see a winged Kawabunga with three-centimeter-wide chicken stripes on the tyres. I’ll let you know later this year whether the winglets on my Ducati make the ride up the Stelvio Pass easier or are more of a hindrance on the hairpin turns.
By the way, wing kits aren’t just available straight from the factory – shops are already offering this ugly style as an aftermarket option. For BMWs, they’ll probably even come with propeller screws at some point. You’re thinking, “That can’t be true, can it?” Well, I ventured into the Twilight Zone of Asian online shops and found things that would make any Tschibo flyer turn pale with shame:
- Strap-on boot soles infused with magnesium for sparking at night
- Lizard-Eye stickers for headlights
- Shopping bag holders for the handlebars
- Organizer for panniers
- Rubber covers for the gearshift lever
Apparently, there aren’t any video solutions yet for Zoom conferences on two wheels. But with the demand for ever-greater connectivity, that will be the next step. Just a few more updates, and the Road Captain’s machine will set up a Wi-Fi network and check the battery levels of the illuminated valve caps across the entire travel group every second. AI navigation systems will book the cheapest lodging closest to the cheapest gas station and, upon request, reserve a table for your Tinder match. That’s when maintaining your own user profile becomes essential – it’s easier to find time for that if you ride an HPE chain …
What will remain
unchanged in 2026?
I suspect that even in the New Year, the wind will mostly blow into my helmet from the front. The emotions involved in riding a motorcycle will once again be the subject of heated debate – and, of course, I, as a “rose-colored” electric motorcycle rider, will be dismissed. People will once again ride their €25,000-plus bikes to motorcycle shows and get upset over a €7 parking fee. Questions like which motorcycles “real” motorcyclists ride, or whether an 800-kilometer day trip is too short, will still have no satisfactory answers in 2026.
And even in 2026, no one will be able to ride a motorcycle “properly” – except for you.
I didn’t make any New Year’s resolutions on New Year’s Eve 2025 either, so I’m going to actively ignore them. And before the next chapter of my motorcycle life begins, my Ducati and my Harley will still be fighting over the battery charger for a few more weeks – the Zero, in its electric hibernation, won’t notice a thing.
But then there are beloved and yet-to-be-discovered dream roads just waiting to be portrayed in pictures and words. The scuffs on my leather yearn for asphalt, and my sore shoulder craves pain-relieving creams after every ride. Minor modifications and several stages of two themed trips are on the calendar. I’ll be on the road with friends and on my own, either fully loaded or with just a toothbrush.
I’m going to take thousands of photos and write hundreds of pages – there were brand-new notebooks under the Christmas tree, and the ink cartridges in my pens are full.
I won’t be short on quirky ideas for MotorProsa in 2026 either.
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